Author name: aliciadowellAdmin

want to say first this post has some profanity and it is about to get real here. Things this summer got out of control for me. I got to the point of not caring anymore. It was not just my normal not caring. (Summer have always been hard for me because I hate the hot weather and it is the time of the year I slack off.) My not caring got to the point of me not cooking nearly all the month of July. That is right we ate out every chance I could get. The heat this summer got me. I have been exhausted, feeling defeated and just trying to get through every day. Don’t get me wrong, things have not been so bad where I wanted to give up. In fact in July had a special day for me. Hubby and I have been married for 10 years now. That is another story for another time. Just the heat has been so oppressive. This has meant my goals I have been working towards were pushed to the side with the intention of picking them back up when it got cooler. However, the call I got changed all those thoughts for me. No I am not going in to details about the call but will say it has to deal with my health. It was a slap in the face and made me look hard at what I was doing right or wrong. I could have embarrassing events happen again or I could do something about it. Last week  I decided to do something about it and stop complaining. one of my friends shared this on Instagram a couple of weeks ago and it keeps coming back to me. This past week I set myself goals and started working on them. And I smashed the shit out of them and for this week, I set harder ones and plan to smash them too. This includes what I am putting in my body. I realized I could do all the the necessary exercise but if I keep eating junk then junk is all my goals are. Eat better fuel and see my goals take off. This is how I am finally feeling. We are eating at our house with home cooked healthy meals. As you can see from our shopping cart, things are getting done here. If you would like to follow along as I continue to smash my goals you can follow along on Instagram with the hashtag: getfitalicia 

Last week was full of excitement for our trip to a local amusement park. I have never been and Glitter Bug could not wait to go. We picked up her cousin and off we went. The excitement in the truck was catching and continued the whole ride. After entering the park, we hatched our plan of what rides to ride. The first couple of rides were the water rides of course. With a nine year old water rides are a must. The next rid had Glitter Bug waiting because it goes upside down. Hubby, cousin and I got ready to ride. Did I mention I HATE rides?! So here we are sitting waiting for everyone to board.  As the ride fills up the bar lowers to keep us from falling out. It is a snug fit. As the ride attendant came by he said I have to lower the bar more. Okay, now it is tight. It clicked and I thought okay let’s get this ride over.  Then the attendant comes back and says the ride still says it is not locked. Again he pushed down and now the bar is making it hard to breath. At this point I am thinking this ride is about to start. Nope, instead the attendant came back to let me know the bar is not locked in place. I told him to just let me off. Mortified I am too fat to ride, I climb down to wait with my daughter. I had to do the walk of shame in front of a FULL ride. How did this happen? Don’t get me wrong I know weight has been put on but surely not enough to keep me from riding a ride. This felt like the lowest point of my life. I have spent the last week in a funk about this. Question how I did this. Why I did this. I could blame stress, lifestyle etc, but really I did this. Now it is up to me to make changes to remove this weight. Small steps  are happening in our house. More fruits (tomatoes and clementines), fresh veggies and smaller meals. Lots of walking and pick up running again. You can follow my journey on Instagram with the hashtag; #getfitalicia. Also feel free to encourage when you can or want to.

Let me first say Thank You for returning after the long break. It was a good break to recharge and renew. We made lots of memories. The holiday season was the most laid back we have ever had. Truthfully I don’t think there were more than 10 pictures taken. For me the best part was living in the moment and not through a lens trying to get the best shot to share.  2015 taught me to slow down, enjoy life, and make time for the small things. We never know how much we have with anyone. That lesson was the hardest my little family had to learn. We had to say goodbye to a wonderful man. I am grateful for every day spent with my father in law and being a part of his family.  2016 tried to take off on us and complicate but deep breaths, slowing down prevailed. Speaking of this year, I have decided to participate in the one word focus. (Last year was potential.) I kind of bounced the idea of not picking a word and just see what the year brought. However the word “Make” kept popping up. Thoughts like “make more memeories,” “make life happen,” “make time,” “make your dreams happen,” “make crafts,” “make chances happen.” These thoughts would jump out in the quite time like washing dishes, folding clothes and driving to work. This year is going to hold lots of make and truthfuly,  I am ready for it all. What is your word or focus for this year? 

The title kind of gives you an idea of what I want to share but there is more. My word for the year is Potential. And in some ways I have been living up to mine. This year I have done two 5Ks and didn’t finish one. Not going to lie, not finishing made me feel all the goals set and passed were for nothing. Instead it meant I need to work harder and do better. However I didn’t. The excuses started setting in. I am too tired. It’s too hot. I have too much to do. My child’s activities have me busy. I don’t feel like doing anything. When it cools down I will get back on track. In reality, I didn’t. I still am not. I got okay with the way things were. Go to work, come home, cook supper, watch tv, go to bed and do it all the next day. Any work I had done is gone. Today, I looked in the mirror and saw myself. (Yes I know we judge ourselves harder than anyone else.) I hated what I saw. There staring back at me was failure, grief, tiredness, all those excuses piling up, the face of someone I never want to see again. I cried. Cried for the loss of what I could have done but chose not to do. Cried because I did this to myself. Cried because I am sick of seeing myself this way. Today I am taking on the word “Potential” again. I am the only one with the potential to change myself. I am the only one who can change the way I see myself. It is going to be a long road and I am sure I will fall but I can’t fall if I never start.

This year of potential has been full. Lots of walks/runs with friends. These past couple of weeks have been lots of miles and it has been wonderful. The training for my 5K on the 28th has been steady. Then I went and did something completely crazy. On Thursday, I found out there was a 5K schedule for the 21st right here in my town. The first thing was think I should totally do this and then the next thought was “What are you thinking? You are already doing one next week. Don’t ask for trouble.”  I decided to stuff the negative thoughts down and just go.  Holly couldn’t go (even though she is the one who told me about the race) and it was looking like I was going to do it alone. I mean my Hubby and Glitter Bug were going to be there to cheer me on. And another friend agreed to go with me. So the big day arrived today. I am totally rocking those running pants and basketball shorts. This is pre-race still smiling because I have no clue what is coming up. And the nerves kicking in, big time! Thank goodness Hubby, Glitter Bug, and Jack were still calm and telling me the race can be done. Not long after this picture was taken they called for all the runner to head to the start line. As the runners starting lining up, I was second thoughts but Jack was there to help me start and finish the race. Then boom! We were off, running up hill. At this point, I found out I still need lots of training to do. There was running, walking and talking for the first two miles.  Remember the basket ball shorts? They became too much in this heat (if you call 60 degrees heat. I do in winter). So here we are in a house subdivision walking and I stop and remove the basket ball shorts.  Giggle fit hit because I am pretty sure seeing a woman stepping out of shorts was funny.  I will not lie the last mile was very hard and I totally thought the end would never come. When the mile 3 sign was spotted a little part of me just wanted to go hug the sign and stay there but Jack was encouraging me to finish the race.  49 minutes after I started the race, I finished the race. My first 5K was under an hour and over! Then it hit me: I can’t wait until the next 5K.